Inane Small Talk and The Question of Doom

When people tell you what they do, the polite way to carry on the conversation is to enquire about the details.

‘Whereabouts do you work?’

‘How long have you been in such-and-such profession?’

‘What are you working on currently?’

Etc.

I suspect most people groan inwardly at having to answer the same questions they’ve been asked countless times before, but they’ll still ask those questions right back at the other person. It’s one of those weird social interactions that’s rarely of great interest to either party. Personally, I always think people’s hobbies and passions are much more interesting than their mode of employment, but no one ever seems to ask ‘What do you do for fun?’ Of course, sometimes those areas blur in a very satisfying way (such as in writing careers… ahem), and you’re more likely to find people who enjoy talking about their work because they genuinely enjoy doing it.

Even then, you get the same questions you’re asked every time. And unless the person is an avid reader of your particular genre, describing the sort of things you write to people who don’t read them usually results in the same polite smiles and subject-changing that occurs with any other profession-related small talk. Which is fine, because talking to someone who’s clearly not interested in the specifics of your subject is awkward at best.

Lately, though, I’ve been wondering what questions people really hate being asked about their work. It must happen: that one question which you loathe, and which, for some reason, 75% of people seem to ask. Maybe you hate it because you’ve been asked it 16 million times and can’t bear to repeat the answer yet again. Maybe you hate it because it means you have to reveal something about yourself or your work that you’re really not comfortable sharing with someone you just met at a party. Maybe you hate it because it’s a completely inane question that has no real answer, and you can’t believe so many people think it’s a sensible thing to ask.

My most hated question falls into that last bracket. It’s the dreaded:

‘Where do you get your ideas?’

Just typing that question makes me cringe. The innocent enquirer always stands there with a benign, considerate expression, waiting for your reply, as if their question actually has an answer. And I’m always baffled by it. Not so much baffled by the question, but by the fact that so many people ask it. Have they really thought it through? Do they really expect there to be an enlightening reply? Or is it just another case of meaningless small talk, the person in question assuming they’ve come up with a new and exciting way to take the conversation?

Newsflash: It’s not new. It’s not exciting. And it definitely won’t allow further evolution of the conversation.

It’s a total dead end. There is no answer to that question. There’s no Ideas Depot on the corner of Main St. I don’t grow my ideas from packets of seeds bought at the garden centre. I don’t fish for them. I don’t stalk them. I don’t have a little zone that I go into and mentally rummage around for them. I don’t call them. I don’t summon them. I don’t find them lying in the street or abandoned in back alleys. And you may be occasionally forgiven for thinking so, but I don’t pull them out of my arse either.

Ideas aren’t physical things that you ‘get’ from anywhere. Ideas start with inspiration, and inspiration is totally intangible and often fleeting. It rarely comes at one’s beck and call. It can strike anywhere, at any time, and you’d better be ready with your trusty little black notebook or it’ll dissipate before you’ve had a chance to capture its essence. An idea can come out of nowhere, or it can build slowly over time. There is no set place, or situation, or event that sparks them off. They just plain happen, in all manner of situations and for all kinds of reasons.

So what is it that people expect when they ask that question? Why do they think it’s something a writer (or artist, or anyone else likely to be asked it) would want to share even if there was an answer?

This is turning into a rant, which wasn’t my plan. But I can’t be the only person who hates a specific work-related question. They must be lurking in all walks of life. And there must be far worse ones to contend with.

Go on – share your Question of Doom. It’s actually quite therapeutic.

The Year is Dead; Long Live the Year!

2012 was a very productive writing year for me. I didn’t realise how productive until I looked back at all the pieces I’d worked on. I revamped two old stories, giving one of them three separate, major rewrites (and I’m talking REwrites – tense changes, complete POV shift – the works). I also wrote four completely new pieces and gave them all some pretty major revisions. I sent nearly all those stories off to be scrutinised by various editors, several of whom were kind enough to send personal rejections. I started this blog. I began writing a new novel. I polished the heck out of my previous novel manuscript, wrote, rewrote, and wrote again its synopsis and query letter and began actually submitting it, as opposed to querying. And I had a story published.

I’m hoping 2013 will be as productive. The year kick-started with an acceptance on a story I was on the verge of shelving – one of the aforementioned rewrites. That was an exciting New Year surprise, and as always, injected me with a new burst of hope for all my other stories doing the rounds. It’ll be published in May!

I’m currently revising a somewhat complex sci-fi story that needs a fair amount of attention before it’s ready to leave the nest. And my major project for 2013 will be the new novel, which is still at its daunting early stages. So… yeah. All pretty promising, in light of which, I shall propose a liquorice tea toast to all my writing buddies: may this year bring masses of inspiration, copious words, and publishing success to us all!